A reflection for sport parents – Craig Ross (26 Jan 2026)
When a child misses a goal, do they feel disappointed —
or do they feel like they’ve let you down?
That difference matters more than we often realise.
Over my years coaching young cricketers and facilitating sport-parent events, one pattern shows up repeatedly.
When young people express a desire to set and chase a goal in sport, parents often — with the best intentions — begin to take ownership of that goal themselves.
This is where things can quietly start to unravel.
When any of us set a personal goal, responsibility sits with us. We can seek guidance, coaching, information, and support — but only we control the effort, choices, and responses required to pursue it.
Children are no different.
Parents play a vital support role. But when we move from supporting a goal to owning it, misalignment creeps in.
Raising children is already an emotional journey. In sport, that emotional investment can intensify — especially when we want to protect our kids from disappointment or see them succeed.
The problem arises when that desire turns into control.
It’s worth pausing to consider the emotional weight this can place on young people.
If a goal isn’t achieved, do they feel disappointment — and the burden of feeling they’ve let you down too?
And when things go well, are they playing with freedom — or simply relieved because you’re pleased?
When we over-manage our children’s sporting environments, we remove opportunities for them to learn, adapt, and grow. In trying to smooth every bump or steer every outcome, we can create pressure, tension, and conflict — and, over time, undermine confidence and self-belief.
Every parent’s reason for stepping in are different. They’re often rooted in care, fear, past-experience, or love. Understanding your personal “why” matters — but that’s a conversation for another day.
What we do know is this.
Young people who experience setbacks, accept disappointment, and learn to adjust and persevere are developing skills that serve them far beyond sport. Resilience isn’t built by avoiding discomfort — it’s built by working through it.
When early pathways are made too smooth, young people can struggle later when challenges inevitably appear — not just in sport, but at school, in work, and in life.
As parents, having the confidence to allow — and trust — this process is one of the greatest gifts we can give.
Which brings us back to our role.
Being a parent, first means supporting our kids as humans before trying to influence outcomes as sport parents. From there, we can better support them in striving toward their goals — not ours.
As another season begins, this is a powerful moment to pause.
To take stock.
To reflect honestly on how we’re showing up.
Then, when the time is right, have a simple but meaningful conversation with each of your children — regardless of their age or where your relationship currently sits.
Try these three questions:
- What do YOU want from your sport this year?
(Fun, improvement, confidence, friendships, challenge…) - What does success look like for YOU?
(Think beyond results — focus on experiences and feelings.) - What do you need from me as your parent?
(You might be surprised by the answer.)
These questions are powerful because they:
• Put connection before coaching.
• Align expectations early.
• Reduce pressure and tension.
• Strengthen trust.
You don’t need to fix anything.
You don’t need to have all the answers.
This is simply about understanding your child a little better before the season gets busy.
Because when we have the courage to connect first, sport doesn’t just improve.
Relationships do — long after sport ends.
Parent first.
Sport second. 💙