What if we could be excited about where our kids’ sport might take them — without needing it to take them anywhere?
I recently sat down with my good mate Garth Littlejohn and his wife Jenny for a conversation about their family’s journey through sport.
Their three children all went a long way. New Zealand representation. University scholarships in the United States. Experiences, friendships, and opportunities that none of them could have fully imagined when their kids were young and simply starting out in sport.
But one comment from Garth really stayed with me.
“Opportunities without expectations.”
Give them opportunities. Encourage them to give things a crack. Support them along the way.
And then — who knows what might happen?
There is something wonderfully simple about that philosophy, and it got me thinking about expectations in youth sport and the fine line we walk as parents between providing opportunities and becoming attached to where those opportunities might lead.
Because Garth and Jenny weren’t parents without ambition for their children. Far from it. They invested time and energy. They travelled. They supported. They opened doors and helped their kids pursue opportunities when they appeared.
But there is a major difference between creating opportunity and expecting an outcome.
And I wonder if that difference is becoming increasingly important in youth sport.
As parents, of course we want good things for our kids.
We see potential. We become excited when a coach notices something in them. Representative teams appear. Development programmes. Academies. Scholarships. Even thoughts of professional sport.
There is nothing wrong with wondering where the journey might lead.
The challenge comes when possibility quietly becomes expectation.
I wonder where this could go?
can slowly become…
This needs to go somewhere.
And our kids can feel that shift, even when we never actually say the words.
Selections begin to carry more weight. Performances are analysed more closely. Comparisons creep in. A disappointing game feels like a setback rather than simply another experience in a long and uncertain journey.
We can become so invested in where sport might take our kids that we risk losing sight of what it is giving them right now.
When Opportunity Becomes Expectation
Which brings me to a quote from Peter Crone that I keep coming back to:
“Be excited about where you’re going, without needing the future to turn out a certain way.”
What a powerful way to think about parenting a child in sport.
We can be excited. We can dream alongside them.
We can provide opportunities and invest our time, money, and energy.
We can celebrate progress and quietly wonder just how far they might go.
Without needing any of it to happen.
That doesn’t mean lowering our aspirations or becoming indifferent to success. It means holding those aspirations a little more lightly.
Because sport is uncertain.
Talent develops at different rates. Bodies change. Coaches change. Selection decisions happen. Injuries arrive. Interests shift. Other young people develop. Opportunities open — and sometimes they close.
There is simply too much we cannot control. Our job as parents isn’t to predict the destination. It is to help create an environment in which our kids feel safe and supported enough to discover what might be possible.
Can I be excited about where my child’s sport might take them, without needing to control where it goes or how it turns out?
When I reflect on my conversation with Garth and Jenny, their family’s journey is a fitting example of just that. Their children’s achievements are impressive. New Zealand representation and US university scholarships are wonderful outcomes.
But something else stands out just as strongly.
Their kids still love sport.
After all the years of training, competing, travelling, and growing, sport remains an important part of their lives — with two now coaching and giving back in their mid-20s.
The journey hasn’t ended; it has simply changed shape.
And Garth’s simple philosophy helped make that possible.
Opportunities without expectations.
Open the doors.
Support them.
Encourage them to give it a crack.
Be excited about what might happen.
And leave enough space for what actually happens to be enough.